To all the women suffering from imposter syndrome, I get you by Poppy Reid
“When you hit a wall, just kick it in.”
Godmother of punk rock and all things poetic Patti Smith was talking about writer’s block in her book Just Kids, but I like to think this mantra can be applied to any number of situations.
If you’ve ever felt utterly exposed, as if your mask is about to slip off, your secret on the brink of being revealed and the gig is almost up; the gig where you’ve been fooling the world that you’re not a fraud… I get you.
In fact, Patti Smith’s now famous advice was actually proffered to her by Broadway playwright Sam Shepard. She says so in her book. That’s because at 72, she knows that it’s okay to not have all the answers. In fact, it’s part of the journey.
I remember the first time I truly felt the hot prickles that come with imposter syndrome during my career. Four years ago I was waiting to interview a music tech entrepreneur for the publication I had become Editor of. His longtime colleague was keeping me company and as she sat down next to me, she said casually, “So Poppy, tell me your story.”
I told her I had moved to Sydney five years ago for an internship at the publication I worked for. I said I had just been made Editor - “but I only got the position because the last Editor walked out.”
“Don’t do that,” she said sternly. “Don’t devalue your success like that.”
More recently I delivered a guest lecture at a university. When the tutor praised my efforts afterwards and mentioned how he thought I spoke so confidently I said, “Well, fake it ‘til you make it right?”
Incredibly, despite my hard work and my sacrifice, I feel all the telltale traits of imposter syndrome: the feeling that putting my voice out there and speaking up only exacerbates the fact that my voice doesn’t actually have value, that is isn’t needed. The feeling that I’m actually incompetent and that I’ve gotten very good at fooling everyone. The feeling that I got the job, the project, the opportunity, the praise, because… well, I’m super lucky, or they must like my personality.
Add to this the proven fact women have to work harder in the music industry and are less visible than their male counterparts. Women make up just 39% of public board members of peak music bodies in Australia, AKA the organisations that ultimately govern the industry I work in.
This of course feeds into my self belief and confidence (or lack thereof) in the workplace and means I struggle with owning my achievements.
If you, like me, suffer from imposter syndrome, don’t worry. We’re in good company at least.
Did you know Maya Angelou had it? The poet and civil rights activist wrote 11 books and every time she published one she thought it would be the moment that she’d be “found out”. Robert Pattinson also suffers from it, so does Lady Gaga, Meryl freakin’ Streep, Tina Fey, Tom Hanks and… 23-time Grand Slam winner Serena Williams.
Imposter Syndrome has been working its devil magic at the backs of our brains for decades. The term ‘the imposter phenomenon’ was coined in 1978 by two US psychologists, Dr. Pauline Clance and Dr. Suzanne Imes, during the second wave of feminism.
Fascinatingly, the pair first thought the feeling was one of the few psychological afflictions to be specific to one gender and only experienced by high achieving women. But Dr. Clance and Dr. Imes soon found that it didn’t discriminate (unlike the workforce at the time).
Imposter syndrome is a separate phenomenon than anxiety. This means it’s common to have a healthy self-esteem, oodles of confidence and also have imposter syndrome. It also doesn’t make us special; 70% of people have these feelings at one time or another.
Through my personal experience with it, one thing that does give me solace is our current youth. Younger Millennials and Gen Zers are embracing talk of mental health and their fears. It’s no longer taboo to openly discuss your mental state and they applaud one another for seeking the help they need.
Another tactic I find helps is to practice trusting myself. If I want to stop feeling like an imposter, I have to stop thinking like an imposter.
Yes, we will make mistakes, we’re not Beyoncè. We will fall and we will fail; but that doesn’t define us, that’s what makes us human. In order to overcome it we must trust that we will meet a few walls along the way, and trust that we’re already wearing the right boots to kick that sucker in.
Poppy Reid is the Managing Editor of Australia's fastest-growing music media company, The Brag Media.